Ore-some

I like to keep apprised of the happenings in good ol' NZ. Here is a little gem of a tale from stuff.co.nz. I like the way the author is loose with his quotations and oh so subtly captures the humor of the situation. I tried to colorize the funny bits but I really find amusement at the whole thing-too many candy corns I guess.

Water rat attacks woman in bed

By BLAIR ENSOR - The Marlborough Express

A vicious rodent attack at a Marlborough holiday park yesterday morning forced a woman to seek hospital treatment.

Despite the presence of her dog and three-legged cat, Lynne Henderson was attacked by a large water rat while lying in bed in her motor home at Spring Creek Holiday Park.

"I'm going to starve them now," she said of her animals' inability to catch the rodent.

Mrs Henderson, who lives permanently at the park in a motor home about 10 metres from the river, remembers feeling an animal, which she assumed was her cat, jump onto her bed.

When it was near her neck, she extended a hand to give it a pat. The startled rodent then latched onto her upper lip.

After hearing his wife screaming, Neil Henderson turned on the light to see a rat, which relinquished its grip and took off into the couple's bathroom.

"It was about nine inches long, very round and cuddly ... well, violent, actually," said Mr Henderson.

A large piece of plywood was used to board up the bathroom while he went to retrieve an air rifle from a friend at the park.

He could not get close to it because it was "bouncing off the walls and ripped the toilet holder clean off".

Too terrified to approach the rat on his return, he prodded it to move it from behind a toilet to get a clear shot.

He fired one shot into the "tummy" of the rat, which "made a hell of a squeal" and ran out the door and up a nearby tree. It has not been seen since.

Mrs Henderson said the rat bite had pierced her upper lip, which bled quite badly at the time.

Because rats are "infectious rodents", she made a trip to the hospital, where bemused hospital staff gave her a tetanus injection and a course of antibiotics.

The couple suspected the rat had found its way inside through a cat door.

"It's funny now, but wasn't at the time," she said.

"It scared the living s..t out of me."

I don't know if I would EVER find it "funny" when I looked back on a 9-inch long viscious water rat clamped down on my mouth. Never ever ever! Must not have been a "top ten" holiday park. Oh me oh my!