A Fine Book Review

Okay, so for those of you that plan on reading A Fine Balance you may not want to read this until you are done but I will try not to give any specifics away. I just finished reading it today and I have to admit I don't know if I should say, "Whew" or "Phew". It was a brilliant book but part of me is glad to be set free of it. It is pretty heavy and quite graphic at times so if you are not into that kind of thing-stay away. Once you get past a certain point it is hard to stop. I know it was a good book because I it built of momentum and started to take over in my life. I started to stay up later and later reading it. Then I started forgoing my 10 minute power naps to read it, then I started dragging it everywhere and trying to read it if I even had a minute I would be reading it. I can't say if it was the storyline alone or if it was me trying to get it done with but I absolutely felt compelled to read it. I passed it on to my friend today as soon as I read the last page on my way over to her house, and as I handed it to her I told her she had to be in a good space when she read it. I found that I often felt like I was on those streets, amidst the chaos and the turmoil. Reviews had said that it had humour in it and that is one of the reasons I went ahead reading it in spite of the heaviness that I knew existed between the cover. The funny banter between characters was lost on me because I always had a feeling that the happiness was a fleeting moment and I could tell disaster was on the horizon with a turn of a page. Of course politics played a heavy role in this novel. Politics aside, I am going to focus more on one thing that I took away from it as it relates to my life at the moment.
I have to admit that I am a nicknamer. I am most guilty when I first move into a ward. Because I don't know their names I have a tendency to pick out an attribute and attach that to them. Wrong I know, but I do it. Just the other day at the gym a guy rushed past me and I said to myself, "Fine Mr. Hurrypants go right ahead!" No really, I did, I actually labeled him as Mr. Hurrypants in my head. He actually wasn't doing anything different from what I do all the time. Often I rush past "slow walkers" another label I like to dispense quite liberally. The difference was Mr. Hurrypants was actually rushing to open the door for me and hold it open. I felt a little stink. That was where we differed. Back to the book.
It was a common theme to have someone be judged one way and then once their hardships or histories were discovered they were seen in another light and formed fantastic friendships. They had a tendency to befriend those that they dealt with on a daily basis. It made me reflect a bit on myself. I am the sort to avoid contact with others as much as possible. Mostly I think because I am afraid that I won't have anything to say, or that I will say something that will offend, or I am just unsure how to strike up an A1 conversations without seeming intrusive. Why shouldn't we know the people that we deal with on a regular basis? Our first fish and chip shop was special to us because it was run by a lady named "Nancy". I actually spent some time talking to her about her life and mine and it was nice. Every once in awhile she would throw in an extra fish or a hot dog, but there was a sense of friendship there and it was nice. It was fun to hear new stories from her. Thats one thing I love about the friends I have, there is always a new story or something from their past that I did not know. It is like in the A Fine Balance when one of the main characters learns to listen to stories and collects them in her mind to form a full history.
The book also emphasized the importance of having this relationship with others, connections we are able to form beyond our blood relatives. One of the things that Mark and I have really felt here is how many people we have met here that have essentially taken us into their lives like family. Often times we felt a bit more isolating from others in Utah because we had our family and they had theirs and you took care of your own for the most part. Granted we were in a newlywed ward but that is how it was. It is amazing to us how people here have their families and yet they let us in. There have been many times that we have received assistance, had our children cared for and been fed by others that took us in and have had an underlying sense that they loved us just as we did them. How often to we rely on ourselves and deny ourselves the privilege of getting to know others through the exposure of our own trials and shortcomings. I think that is when you really get to know and love others is when you are able to share your weaknesses and vulnerability and ask for some help. I find it has often been like that with my relationship with my Heavenly Father as well. My relationship is the strongest when I can acknowledge that I need His help. Reading this book also made me so grateful for the blessings I have been given in this life to know the truths that the gospel brings into my life.
I do think this author provided a real talent for making you feel a part of the story. I have to admit, I can't say that it is terribly uplifting and karma definitely never comes around either. Certainly you can leave with the feelings of creating new friendships or being thankful for living in a functional democracy but you also leave with a lot of other imagery that I am afraid may stick with me for quite awhile. Now, Candy Freak that was a funny book...