What more can I say? I had no idear that my last post would solicit so much interest. It was funny because when I first wrote it I really was speaking in general terms and mostly just venting some of my emotions. Unfortunately my vague terms proved to be my ultimate demise. What was supposed to be a fun, happy post progressed into some deeper thoughts that I chose to keep vague so as to not incriminate any one person or persons. Instead everyone's guilty consciences got the best of them and everyone seemed to think they were the guilty party. I guess maybe on some level we all have a little paranoia of things we have said or done.
Please understand I adore my family and they mean the world to me. They have been incredibly supportive and have put up with my rants-warranted or mostly not for many many years. That is one of the things that is special about families, no matter how much of a fool you make of yourself they will always be your family and they will continue to be your family. I did not mean to incriminate my family at all. After the post, I actually had not really talked to anyone. After some more slightly emotional postings on another site, is when the calls came flooding in. Everyone had a different interpretation of my post.
I was glad to hear from people because it really made me realize that yes, people that love us-friends or family or even the occasional foe will have advice for anyone. I am not the exception. I have often mocked and questioned other people's decisions as well. This has really made me look to myself and my own behaviour. I need to be better. My sensitivities were the result of my own actions. The funny thing is that both my family and my friends thought they were the instigators of the harassment. Just tonight I finally had the opportunity to catch up with some friends that I hadn't really had a chance to talk to since the post and turns out they were scared I was angry with them and had been going over the things they have said; my family had done the same thing.
Truth be told, I meant to incriminate neither party. I have had random people at my kids school ask me what the heck I am doing here and blah blah. Everyone gets that kind of thing. Everyone. My rant was me being sick of being another one of everyone. I am extremely stressed right now and not anywhere near my right frame of mind so I am sorry, very very sorry for any hurt that I may have caused. I have read everyone's comments and I am sorry for not replying to them all, but I have been a bit busy this weekend. So anyway, just because I did not want to leave on that last post, I decided to try to clear the air. Maybe I have made it worse because it is very late and I am tired but I figured it was worth a shot. Ed decided to do what he could to help save us in shipping and decided to ship himself via NZ post. Luckily I happen to have some good banana boxes with air vents... I love you all and I am sorry for the hurt, the grief, and the worry I may have caused you. Hopefully I will get thing more under control and I will get back to what I like doing on my blog-charming posts and taking pictures.
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