Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane?

It's the Bergs!!! The rumors are all true, the Bergs will be returning to America on August the 4th of this year. Things have been a bit crazy over here sorting everything out for the big move. Mark is still working on the last chapters of his dissertation even as I write this. We still have a few more interviews to do before we settle on where we will be exactly. We have applied to anything and everything from coast to coast and the best prospects have come from the east so if anyone tells you we didn't apply to the west you can call them liar brains. We put in many years in the west prior to leaving for NZ so we are excited to spend some time in the east. Everyone needs a little Berg and we are trying to spread our influence as best as we can.
It has been crazy organizing everything. It is funny to think back to when we first came here 5 years ago and now to be doing it all again in reverse plus two more kids is really strange. We arrived in NZ with 8 suitcases packed to the max, and a small pallet that would meet us in 6 weeks. In a way it will be easier because we know more about what is available in America. When we prepared to move out here we were excited to leave all we had and start fresh with new things. We thought shipping was so expensive we might as well just buy new. Umm yeah.
It only took us a few months to blow through all of our savings. Little did we know things that we thought would be like 10 dollars turned out to be 70. We did well on our cars but when you need everything from sheets to forks to beds for five it adds up quickly, too quickly. The freight charges that we originally thought to be outrageous turned out to be a real bargain that we should have taken advantage of. I was so happy when our tiny pallet of belongings from home arrived. It wasn't much but it was ours. Turns out all the stuff I really wanted to replace had more sentiment attached to it than I had thought. Now, it could have been the pregnancy hormones at the time, or it could have been being in a completely different place, but it was very sad for me to live somewhere that didn't feel like home and to realize that to make it feel like some sort of a home was going to send us to the poor house quickly.
For months the girls would ask for certain toys or a blanket they remembered. It was hard on me, how could it not have been for them? I remember driving around all of us crammed into a little rusty Toyota trying to buy things to keep us warm, to cook a meal or even to sleep on. It was a very stressful experience.
We learned a lesson that it wasn't so much just buying the things you need, it was having the things that made you feel like you were home. It almost felt like we had lost everything in a fire and I went through a bit of a mourning period. It sounds strange, I know and horribly materialistic but it was how we felt-how I felt. We also learned that small things quickly add up. This time around after looking into several options freighting is still the best way to go for us. I guess we just acquired too much stuff. We have been selling what we can but I as cheap as America is, the proceeds from a yard sale just won't cover the cost of replacing everything. I know this is a bit of a rant but it is how I am feeling right now.
I guess in the end I shouldn't care what people think, but the truth is, I do. I feel like I have to justify our decisions to people that really don't know what it is like. People that I have heard complain about how tired they are moving from one city to the next. Okay, family of SIX overseas people. Could we leave everything behind? Yes, but if we would break even what would be the point? Removing the kids from the only lifestyle and friends they have ever known isn't enough? I should abandon all their toys, books, clothes and whatever meager belongings they have as well? For years, the questions about when we would return were asked and now that we are returning there are only more questions and more doubt. Believe it or not, Mark and I do think about these things frequently and heavily before we do them. Our decisions are not made on a whim without regard to any research that we have done (and YES we do research all our options). We also do pray about our decisions and we feel good about them even if it doesn't make sense to others. Where would any of us be if things were only done that made sense to everybody? That in itself would not make sense. No one knows our goals or our exact situation so they can not fairly evaluate our decision for us. So far our decisions have made us grow into better, stronger people by challenging us to grow in ways far greater than we would have if we had stayed in our comfort zones. When have you last extended yourself and done something that really challenged you and helped you to find a strength within yourself that you never knew you had?